Dancing Within the Fire

faeofthefire @ 2009-11-30T11:41:00

2009-11-30T18:41:17Z

so, for those of you that have been paying attention.

Eowyn has had two very good days, we're going to go see her this afternoon. They have managed to wean her off her blood pressure medication, along with turn her Vent down some and swap out her belly button IV line to a better, more stable PIC line in her arm. She still has a small flappy hole in her heart which is very normal, if it does not correct itself in a couple of weeks or appears to start causing problems they will have to go in to fix it. The doctor says that in most cases they do need to fix it. Apparently this is a fairly normal surgery in Extremely early births but wont cause her heart issues later in life.

She does however have a bleed in her head. Its a grade 3 out of 4 potential grades. So... not good. It will take time to see how bad it is however and what it will do to her. It is on the left side only. But her white count and platelets have stabilized so its a good sign that its stopped. Also there has been no visible or measurable head swelling. Also good.

She's still on IV nutrition and will be for a while. Eventually they will start trying small amounts of breast milk. which is good as It seems I am meant to keep them well stocked.

They've not weighed her again yet or measured her. She probably wont change too much until they start feeding her though.

If they can swap her over to another kind of vent in the next couple of weeks we'll finally get to hold her. I'm very excited about that. Eric has started reading to her. It's the most adorable thing in the world.

faeofthefire @ 2009-11-27T13:11:00

2009-11-27T20:11:17Z

so tired. Its been.... an exciting week. Eowyn is here... and beautiful. I am here... and tired... am hoping that they let me go home tonight. its all depending on my blood pressure. I have been here for a week now. I have gone through over 20-30 needles, TONS of pain killers, I am covered in bruises, I have gained 50lbs and lost 20 now, I have nearly seized, nearly died, had a child, Nearly lost her, I have been made eternally more grateful for my incredible husband than I ever thought possible. I have learned new priorities, new things to be thankful for, new things to love, new things to fear. I am excited about my life today, and tomorrow, I am over joyed at the new little wonder in my life. Little miss Eowyn Rose Moe.

I think she looks like her daddy. She's so tiny. SO TINY. She reached out and held my finger when I was with her a few days ago and she's as light as a bug. My little Lady Bug.

I'm going to get some rest....

faeofthefire @ 2009-10-27T07:13:00

2009-10-27T14:29:35Z

So... updates?

We're now over half way through the baby growing (21 weeks)... I look like it.

ITS A GIRL.

her name is Eowyn Rose Moe.

brief scare yesterday... turned out to be blood vessels that burst in the cervix. Was told to take it easy for a day or two... so am going to work a half day today as not working for 2 days in a row is not really an option for me.

We're having a Halloween party this friday. Yes we miss you. Yes please come. Yes we're dumb for not seeing anyone. Dumb Dumb DUMB.

Finished watching Torchwood yesterday... the whole thing... including children of earth. Its brilliant, they're beautiful, I wept.... ALOT, Jack is possibly the hottest example of Choatic good out there and SOOO on my list. Hell, today he IS my list..... but MY GOD... Children of Earth was so dark... It was the first thing I thought of when I woke up. Maybe it's because I'm pregnant.... no... no.. it was just REALLY F'ed up. *brilliant*

So the Nursery is Dragon themed. read: NOT PRINCESS themed. we're going for the Maid Marion Vs. pink and annoying. Hell I might through a Bad Ass Lady Paladin in there just to even things out a bit. ... Course The paladin I play in Dnd is a Beloved of Valarian... so she rides a unicorn.. *PRETTY*. ... thats like... Bad ass girly right? Pretty magic horsey... BIG ASS SWORD!

So if anyone has any Spare Dragon stuffies or knights or unicorns or... you know... good not to evil stuff.. let me know.. its hard to find.

faeofthefire @ 2009-09-13T15:14:00

2009-09-13T22:15:46Z

alright folks, I have a few evenings open coming up, any takers?

faeofthefire @ 2009-08-14T07:29:00

2009-08-14T14:41:42Z

Warcraft blip:

Not fair by the way that now that I'm all preggo and cant drink my main rp character gets the same way.... so now I cant even drink virtually.... *sigh* Poor Killa/Dea.

End warcraft blip.

FRIDAY! YAY!!!!! oh how I love and adore you Friday!
PAYDAY! YAY!!!!! Oh how I love and adore you Payday!

August party! YAY!!! Oh how I've missed you....

anything else I missed?

New modem and stuff as our neigbors acrossed the ally seemed to have cut our cable lines and tries to barrel connect it back to geter with a pair of pliers and electrical tape (jerks):/. The company at first said it was on our end, so we bought new stuff and they still couldnt see it. So then they sent out a very nice tech (kinda cute btw :p) who ran all new wire and after 2 days of no webbies at home... YAY WE HAVE WEBBIES! and webbies with a better more streamline connection point... which leads to a better more streamline connection. *joy* I didnt DC!

Work still sucks. Husband still good. Looks like I'm skipping fair this season... as I'm due in early march... that would be bad. (and not very nice of Paul to say I'd pop the second I stepped on the grounds BTW!)

We're going to Starwars in concert with the PFF. I think its on October 4th. *excited* by the PFF I mean We'll be sitting next to mick and Bill, Nathan and Trips will be somewhere in the same area. ... I dont know who else is going.

Oh shit! I have to plan Vegas in september! SHIT!

faeofthefire @ 2009-08-13T07:20:00

2009-08-13T14:27:24Z

So. Baby got first photos. *giggle* currently being Dubbed "gerbil". Dad said lizard.. but Gerbils are cuter.

9 more weeks until we find out the gender. Votes?

SO TIRED! UGH! cant wait for the weekend damnit.

so done with work. my job, my senior manager, all of it.

I wont be leaving however... no. I've been here for 14 months... I'll be damned if i dont make it 2 years and get that extra week of vacation.

faeofthefire @ 2009-06-24T06:52:00

2009-06-24T14:00:36Z

I've been distant this week. I'm sorry. Call me this weekend Jt, I'm sorry about not returning your call.

Grandpa has congestive heart failure, Dr. white gave him 2 weeks. Currently we're trying to prep to bring him home so he can die in his own room. Its not easy, my grandparents are compulsive Hoarders, We have to make it safe.

In the process we found my great grandmother's mother ring. My grandmother's wedding set, which made my mother and I smile. Her ring is white gold, with a single small chip diamond in the middle of several flat rectangular rubies. My mothers ring is 2 Diamonds with a prodominate Ruby. I of course, have a sapphire.

We found a love letter from a woman named Jenny, addressed to my grandfather in 1943. *laugh* my grandmother's competition.

We also found day by day notes from his time in Germany during the war.

I'm not feeling well today.

faeofthefire @ 2009-05-07T17:41:00

2009-05-08T00:44:59Z

So. in the past month:

Dad had emergency surgery in Tulsa OK. So mum, Laura, Alex and I drove from Sunday night to monday night to get there, and then Tuesday night to Wednesday mid day to get home. In the time I was gone my grandfather broke his knee, and was put on hospice care, my husband lost his job. I got a grand total of about 8 hours of sleep. Aunt Laura found out in tulsa that her cancer spread, I consumed more caffeine and shit food than I ever did when I was partying. and...... I learned that some people just dont get to have the honey moon periods after their wedding.

fuck you life.

fuck you.

just another day in paradise

2009-05-01T05:18:54Z

today i weighed 210.0 my lowest point yet (without vomiting the night before) I am officially smaller that my husband. Size 16s are getting more and more comfortable. I'm smaller than I was when we met too. only 10 lbs until the big 200. I'm very excited about that. I've not seen 1?? since.... I was 17? I think. Also 4 more lbs until I have officially lost 50 total. 50. 50! Thats... nearly half way to where I want to be. I'll hit that at 200. the half way mark. the gateway to a size 14 jean...... I dont even know how to shop for a size 14 jean... do I still shop in the plus size section or can I now enter the smaller... "normal" size section.

Eric is working on drawing up a version of my next ink. I do so hope to have it soon. He's such a technical thinker.. this makes him very good at knot work. I'm excited about it. for one his anal retentive ways work in my favor....

We walked the dogs last night. poor Eric wore bad shoes and got blisters. no more walking on his chucks. Also walking to dogs with my husband is out for a couple of days.

mememememe

2009-04-26T21:09:06Z

Comment and I will:
Tell you why I friended you. (Or, like, some relevant equivalent for non-journal people.)
Associate you with something; fandom, a song, a colour, a photo, a word, et cetera.
Tell you something I like about you.
Tell you a memory I have of you.
Ask something I’ve always wanted to know about you.
Tell you my favourite user pic of yours.

In return, you must post this in your LJ/DW/blog/whatever.

faeofthefire @ 2009-04-24T06:28:00

2009-04-24T13:30:53Z

This week has been a bit unfriendly. With the pipe breakage on sunday and the stomach flue mid week, we've had a bit of a rough post wedding week. Its been a little hard to return to my before wedding eating plan. This is happening just today, though I am going to finish off the last of my all natural ginger ale. The worst thing in it though is Cane juice, and I only have 3 more bottles. As of this morning I am 13 pounds from a big break through number. I simply cannot wait to see 199 lbs on my scale.

We are going out dancing with some friends of ours tonight, it's been so long since I've been out dancing. I am kind of excited. Of course I'm also excited that I fit into this dress that I'm planning on wearing, as I've only been able to wear it once... years and years ago. I'm also admitably very nervous. Its been.... since then.... since I've talked myself into a club. so many years ago...... I was a difforent person. Eric and I will be taking our own car.. just incase I have to abandon ship.

I suppose I'm just looking for a bit of eating plan reboot support. It's rough to let my mexican food go again, but I know its better for me. We spent 50 dollars on produce last night.

Scott was finally approved for his nursing license. I'm super excited for him. Eric is going to call the guy he interviewed with at the begining of the week today. we're really hoping for this job. It will save our home.

My house is such a mess! I just had it sooo clean!!! Dang it! Its rough to keep it clean when I'm still hunting for places to put things, and Eric just finished the Hutch last night. I have to say I'm super excited about the hutch, yes its more to dust BUT I can display some of our nicer things. Our friend Jeff bought us a quaich, (quake) it is a traditonal scottish marriage cup with a handle on both sides. I've not seen it yet as it is apparently still being engraved, but it will be nice to have a place for it.

Blah, thats it I think. Happy friday!

faeofthefire @ 2009-04-20T21:20:00

2009-04-21T04:22:23Z

we are wedded. We have a house full of boxes. I am excited to have new things. I want them to be where they belong. it is going to be a long week of unpacking and repacking.

on an ironic note after getting home on sunday we found a pipe broke from our water heater and flooded both the laundry and storage rooms. *sigh* yay wedding!

oh, eric had a surprise interview today, he thinks he may have gotten the job. *crosses fingers* this job will save our home.

more wedding details with pictures later

faeofthefire @ 2009-04-17T21:19:00

2009-04-18T04:19:22Z

woohoo here we go... less than 24 hours!

faeofthefire @ 2009-04-15T06:16:00

2009-04-15T13:36:04Z

last day of fedex office for the week!! YAY!!!!!! of course it will be the longest day of my week. but whatever. after 3 pm. I get to go home.
Tonight:
its work on/finish wedding music night.

Tomorrow is:
sleep in,
finish up the music if we haven't already.
Finish my hair piece.
Refresh the ceremony stuff, insert vows, do the formal print out.
Finish cleaning my eyebrows up,
Pack the ceremony, and reception boxes,
Pack the bridal emergency kit
Pack for the weekend
Pick up the dress and the tux.
pack the car

Friday morning:

BEA ARRIVES!
Go to the jewelry store. Get teh STOOF!
Get nails and toesies done!

theres a bunch more i promise.
I realize i dont have everything.
but why make this extremely long?

faeofthefire @ 2009-03-28T17:51:00

2009-03-29T00:51:54Z

working on music for the reception. Anyone got any ideas? these ideas would be best accompanied with cds.

Thank you.

Killa

inside your ugly, ugly like me.

2009-03-16T13:13:13Z

I had a strange experiance last night. One of those moments from the movies where a meaningful question is asked by the last person you'd ever expect, and the pause happens, you are filled with thought. And as the answer brushes your lips you feel that you understand more about yourself than you did 60 seconds ago. It was in fresh and easy on the way home from Ci Ci's pizza. I ran into someone.... I had not seen in many years. She was part of the circle I used to associate myself with.... in another life.

"you kind of up and disapeared"
"on purpose mostly"
"did you find what you were looking for?"
"..... you know... I think i did."

faeofthefire @ 2009-02-25T21:25:00

2009-02-26T04:25:42Z

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Gay_Pirates

for Corey

Wedding braaaaaiiinnnn

2009-02-18T14:08:34Z

Today I feel pretty... pretty okay. After a 2 day long stint of vomiting and severe headaches I'm on the up swing, with only a minor head pain this morning. Yesterday, though I did not feel well at all i choose to do something productive with my home.

Eric and I have both been crazy person stressed, and our nightmare of a home showed it. So yesterday I cleaned until Eric got home, and then pulled him on the train and we got some much needed tasks done including: sorting through and orginizing the laundry room, kitchen, and linen closet. Making our final to do list for the wedding, finishing up the invites which are going to the post office today thanks to Eric stopping by there. I feel productive, this makes me feel so much better mentally.

This past weekend I found wedding shoes, choose bridesmaid gifts, ordered our toasting glasses, and got both my father and little brother fit for tuxs. Eric's mom, Diane, also was kind enough to buy me a dress for the rehearsal dinner. not that I didnt own plenty of dresses, but it was her birthday gift to me, and well... who doesn't need new dresses? It's very cute and very me.

So, something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. I need to talk to Bea. The pretty jewelry goddess. All of my stuff is fun funky and big, maybe I can borrow something from her? I also need a new prettier nose ring. Something with some bling. But.. not too much bling?

OH!! THE LAWSUIT IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!

Looks like we came out of it with 600ish on top of expenses. This is bueno! this means that maybe, just maybe.... we can afford a little honey moon... a little tiny one?

faeofthefire @ 2009-01-04T11:08:00

2009-01-04T18:21:04Z

So We got home last night. I was, as heavily intoxicated as everyone remembers. We're dog sitting our friend's dog until Tuesday. we looked at the counter. bloody fur..... Rabid hunt for cats. Tasha, check, Zeke... Zeke...... Kitchen window. Zeke. 24 hour vet hospital is right across the street. We have to drop him off so they can mend him. 4 wounds, a hundred or so stitches, 2 drains, 1 cone. Zeke is now on our bathroom floor drugged up pretty hard. He's not out of the wood yet though, One large one on his side went through fat and tissue, and perhaps (we're praying not) punctured his abdomen. He has to go back in to our normal vet tomorrow. Thank the gods for Care Card. So far, we're over $700 dollars.

I believe it was a dominance issue.... I dont blame Marty, Aria has never had a problem when she's been over. No one could have predicted this. So now.... we wait.

New Years Evil

2008-12-31T13:49:38Z

So after a 2 day stint of having plastic in my eye and staying home. I'm back at work. my eye is still a little red and a little achey, but its repairing very fast and very well. We're having a new years party of course, so if anyone would like to show thier butts up. 4802176145. Or... just show your butt up. I got my feathers in!! I'm so excited.

Wedding to do list:

Pick up dress DONE
Print invites DONE
Make Tossing Thingy DONE! PRETTY!
Receive and Check Parasols. Done.... need to order 2 more in black as red was WAY TO RED.
Center Pieces nearly complete!
Corsages ect. Half way finished!
Get Eric's ring engraved.... Not done... (hey Ben?)
Learn to waltz. Working on it!
Buy corset DONE!
Get dress Altered Waiting until Late January (I'm short!)
Buy shoes Not done!
Decide on hair.... OH GOD CANT!
Write Ceremony DONE! (Hey Ben? I have a request.)
Write Vows DONE! (If we can find where we put them......)
Have Lunch/Coffee with Dennis and Bonnie Not done....
Choose naughty underthings to wear under dress cuz i can..... Not done.
Get Eric to pick a song for he and Diane... Not done.
Print out direction Map and Reception card. Not done!
Buy flower girl Basket.... not done.
Finalize Registry.... not done!
Finalize Guest list... DONE!
Get Addresses.... not done! EEP!

(hey Ben.... this is really handy having you on LJ. faeofthefire@yahoo.com please e-mail me you and emily's formal names and addresses please please. thanks!)

Yay for having the big stuff done early so i can focus on the more fun stuff now. I of course am enjoying making most of it myself.

Life sucks, Wear a Helmet

2008-12-02T13:04:53Z

"When you're standing in deep water,
and you're bailing yourself out with a straw.
When you're standing in deep water,
and you wake up making love to a wall.
It's these little times that help to remind,
it's nothing without love."
- Jewel

Eric was laid off yesterday. I cannot begin to describe..... the fear, the panic, the anything.

Our house is now in danger as is our cars, our lights, our home.... I cannot support us by even half. I only bring in half of what he did.

He's hurting so baddly right now... I can not stand it... I'm sick to my stomach... I'm sick to my soul. *sigh*

faeofthefire @ 2008-11-13T14:19:00

2008-11-14T21:29:34Z

"Soaking up is what happens after saddle backing"

and and... "they're dying, which is some comfort."

http://www.hulu.com/watch/43974/the-colbert-report-proposition-8-protests---dan-savage#s-p1-st-i1

Tatueueueueu

2008-10-26T19:04:20Z

I'm getting my first tattoo two weeks from today. Lord Ganesh. I'm in debate for location though, I was going to get him on my left calf, but due to the placement of the phoenix that I'm getting I think I am going to choose to place him on my right shoulder blade. Opinions? This of course means that it will be visible fr the wedding. Not something I'm concerned about. It is going to be a part of me after all. It will be a black outline tattoo without color. I'm excited. Am hoping that Erica can make it to hang with me for the process as Eric may be getting a part time job on the weekends to help make ends meet and may not be able to come. Of course that requires Eric to get an inhuman amount of sleep.

The next weekend Eric is getting a Thor's hammer on his right tricep. He drew it up himself, it looks good. I approve.

faeofthefire @ 2008-10-13T06:34:00

2008-10-13T14:34:06Z

I have not posted here in a while. My schedule has been doing evil flip flops.... I'm now waking up at 4:30 am to get to work by 5:30. It seems it will stay this way.

The economy is striking fear into our hearts. We are worried deeply about Eric's job. Mine is safe, i'm waking up at the Asshole of the morning to secure it but now I am comforted by the lack of other willing to wake up so early. Eric on the other hand was sent home 2 days last week without pay due to economy. He loose his job... we're so far down Oh Shit river... there may not be a way back. Due to this fact we're having a new room mate move in this week. My mother is concerned about this person moving in due to history.... She does not understand, history was over long ago. Now we are something new, and yet similar, but the rules are now clear. I'm glad to have him on many levels.

I'm due to get my first tattoo on November 9th. I'm excited. Its free. That makes me even more excited.

I ordered my wedding dress this past week. I also tried my red cheapo corsett on for halloween. I'm happy to say I have my figure back!

I have been stressing lately over picking my path. I need to go to school... but for what? *sigh*

Oh james found my Full Natal chart. I fond some of it slightly disturbing.... but interesting. It explains the battle ground in my head.

Starting back at the Gym again this week. And started this new habit I'm trying to form.... being an everloving cheap ass. coupon clipping.

Pictures of the Roll over

2008-09-08T01:22:19Z

http://www.phxff.net/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=6990&FORUM_ID=5&CAT_ID=2&Forum_Title=General+Discussions&Topic_Title=4+wheeling+adventure%2E&whichpage=1&tmp=1#pid94424